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Monster

by Grayson

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1.
Monster 03:27
My poison stink Seeps into everything (everything). It’s all over all my clothes, My furniture, My car seats. My constant stench Fogs up the mirrors in my whole house, Makes a beast of me that reaches out, And laughs as it eats me. I hide, it finds me. I’m silent, it hears me. Oh god, it sees me. It’s seized me, believe me! I run, it’s too fast. I fight, it fights back. It fucking attacks, And attacks, and attacks. Monsterman (I’m a monster) Monsterman (I am toxic) Toxicman (I’m a monster) Monsterman Please find me. I’m trapped in here with this thing (with this thing) That keeps coming for my brains, My perspectives, My whole life. All I can do Is avoid the mirrors every place I go So I don’t have to see myself like this. I hate seeing myself like this. I hide, it finds me. I’m silent, it hears me. Oh god, it sees me. It’s seized me, believe me! I run, it’s too fast. I fight, it fights back. It fucking attacks, And attacks, and attacks. Monsterman (I’m a monster) Monsterman (I am toxic) Toxicman (I’m a monster) Monsterman It happens every day. I wake up, get replaced By something that hates me. And that means I hate me.
2.
Grump 01:57
Yeah, you know me. I’m the monster under your bed Waiting for your Feet to hang down So I can open up my gaping maw, Gobble them both up to cut You down to size, fill my guts, Get you to believe in me. I’m a lowly beast, I need to eat. Blame it on me, ‘Cuz I’m here To ruin your night, your entire good time. Dump it on me ‘Cuz it’s my aim, To waste your time, This entire shit life. Yeah, you know me. I’m the dark things In your closet Making noises To capture Your attention, To get you across the room So you can open that door, Let me tear up the whole floor Under your feet for my feast, So that in peace I can eat Your entire brain Just to stain Everything you believe. Believe only in me. Enjoy the rust That I leave On your beliefs Believe only in me.
3.
Wish 02:42
Everywhere I go is goddamn crowded and/or empty, And everyone I meet there, they’re all talking shit about me. (Fuck you!) Every smile I see’s fucking forced, yellowed, and reeking. I wish it were not this way, But the truth’s in my face. In my face! I wish I Could hear (I wish I could hear) The things you do (I wish I could think, I wish I could see, I wish I could be) I wish I (I wish I could hear, I wish I could think, I wish I could see) Could think (I wish I could be, I wish I was not, I wish I could be) The way you do (I wish I could hear, I wish I could think) The sunlight’s just a halogen bulb a billion lightyears away. That frigid flicker-buzz in my ears distorts the things I say. (I’m blind!) And what I say is always shitty, I can tear down any good day. I’ll drag everyone to my level so I can get my own way. Get my own way! I wish I Could see (I wish I could hear) The sky you see. (I wish I could think, I wish I could see, I wish I could be) I wish I (I wish I could hear, I wish I could think, I wish I could see) Could be (I wish I could be, I wish I was not, I wish I could be) Just like you. (I wish I could hear, I wish I could think) I wish I Was not (I wish I could hear) The way I am. (I wish I could think, I wish I could see, I wish I could be) I wish I (I wish I could hear, I wish I could think, I wish I could see) Could be (I wish I could be, I wish I was not, I wish I could be) Something else (I wish I could hear, I wish I could think) For you.
4.
Garden 03:56
There was a place way Back in the day when I became me by Studying you. But that place cannot Exist anymore ‘cuz I peeled myself away For no other reason Than recklessness, Stupidity, A monster growing inside me. Now I don’t even exist To you, to me, to anybody. How are you today? I am doing fine. Everything is great. That’s fucking lie. Sometimes I just drive around that place For some peace of mind, For some piece of my- self I left behind In west garden. Oh, please look at me. Won’t you look at me? Everything is great. That’s a fucking plea. Sometimes I just drive around that place For some peace of mind, For some piece of my- self I left behind In west garden. I grafted some of You to me so I Would remember I had some value I can’t remember your voice At all these days. You’re just a name an a face And a shitload of pain. Even though there is not Much left of you, What remains in my brain will have to do. How are you today? I am doing fine. Everything is great. That’s fucking lie. Sometimes I just drive around that place For some peace of mind, For some piece of my- self I left behind In west garden. Oh, please look at me. Won’t you look at me? Everything is great. That’s a fucking plea. Sometimes I just drive around that place For some peace of mind, For some piece of my- self I left behind In west garden. How are you today? I am doing fine. Everything is great. That’s fucking lie. Sometimes I just drive around that place For some peace of mind, For some piece of my- self I left behind In west garden. Oh, please look at me. Won’t you look at me? Everything is great. That’s a fucking plea. Sometimes I just drive around that place For some peace of mind, For some piece of my- self I left behind In west garden.
5.
Die 03:17
I don’t mean to worry you, There’re just no words for the deepest blues. Avoiding mirrors takes too much from me. If I could find a way somehow To kill the thing that drags me down, I’d kill it dead, I’d murder it right now. Monsters find Places to hide. But rest assured, I hope for more. (Blast off!) I don’t want to die But sometimes I think that I might Just want to blast off to the moon and never come down. (Come down!) Up there all alone I’d watch you prosper down below And I’d know something that I’d done had finally worked out. (Blast off!) The blackest skies are filled with light Even though they’ve been blocked from my sight. I wish like hell I could see it clear. But monsters die and mirrors break, Wishes and gardens grow and change. If applied to me, there’d be nothing to fear. I’m so scared All the time. But rest assured, I hope for more. (Blast off!) I don’t want to die But sometimes I think that I might Just want to blast off to the moon and never come down. (Come down!) Up there all alone I’d watch you prosper down below And I’d know something that I’d done had finally worked out. (Blast off!) In the dark and Cold of space You’ll probably worry If I can take this, But back on Earth, Even on my best days, I faced harder enemies. The longest, coldest, bitter days, Suffering over what I don’t say, Only listening to the monster in my head And not to rationality. So say goodbye, I’m blasting into space. I don’t want to die But sometimes I think that I might Just want to blast off to the moon and never come down. (Come down!) Up there all alone I’d watch you prosper down below And I’d know something that I’d done had finally worked out. (Blast off!) I don’t want to die But sometimes I think that I might Just want to blast off to the moon and never come down. Up there all alone I’d watch you prosper down below And I’ll know something that I’d done had finally worked out. I don’t want to die! I don’t want to die! I don’t want to die! I don’t want to die! I don’t want to die! I don’t want to die!

credits

released September 4, 2020

-Monster was engineered, produced, recorded, and mixed by Scott Minner at The Armory Studio during the pandemic summer of 2020.
-Co-produced by Ryan Schwenk.
-Mastered by John Naclerio at Nada Recording.
-All music written and performed by Grayson, except for a portion of “Monster” in which Scott made a bass sound like the apocalypse.
-All lyrics by Nick Gregorio, except for a portion of “Die” which was written by Ryan “Ziggy” Ziegler.
-Guest vocals on “Die” by Ziggy.
-All backing vocals and oozin’ahs by Nick and Scott.
-All gang vocals by Grayson, Schwenk, and Mike Dougherty.
-Album art by James Edward Clark.

Grayson is:
Nick Gregorio – Vocals/Guitar
Dan Herb – Drums
Eric Jaen – Bass

Grayson would like to thank the following people, organizations, and beer companies for all the help and support in all its forms: Lizz, Danielle, Erin, Brody, and Isla for the love, support, and patience. John Bowes for the lovely practice space at AA. Schwenk and Mike Dougherty for wearing masks and shouting at a microphone with us. Scott Minner for literally the best recording experience any of us have ever had ever—like, ever-ever. Ziggy and Schwenk for adding their insight, voices, and words to our record. Justin Mondschein for the photos and friendship. Doin’ Great, Merit, and twentytwo. for being excellent and constantly raising the bar. John Naclerio and James Edward Clark for adding those final, but absolutely integral touches. Tired Hands Brewing Company’s Alien Church—the official beer of the Monster recording sessions. Workhorse Brewing Company, Imprint Beer Co., Neshaminy Creek Brewing Company, New Trail Brewing Company, and Tree House Brewing Company for the liquid inspiration. And anyone and everyone willing to share their experiences with bipolar disorder, depression, and anxiety—you’ve made tremendous strides toward normalizing the conversation and made the writing of this record possible.

This record is dedicated to Eric’s mother, Teresita Jaen. She didn’t get a chance to listen to this in person with us, but we’re sure she’s listening. A thousand apologies for the foul language, by the way.

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Grayson Hatfield, Pennsylvania

New EP "Monster" available now!

Grayson is a skate punk-influenced punk rock band from the Philly 'burbs. We started in 2013, broke up for a while, and now we're back.

Grayson is:
Nick Gregorio
Dan Herb
Eric Jaen
... more

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